Big Brothers Big Sisters A rewarding experience for volunteers and 'littles'

It can happen within a large family, inside of a crowded classroom, or even during social events where everyone seems to be having a good time.

A child feels isolated or alienated.

Through Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Bridge, volunteer mentors help children feel connected.

"We recruit, screen and train volunteers who are over the age of 16 and have completed the 10th grade," said Jenna Sargent, a certified caseworker for the organization, a Catholic Social Services program headquartered in Stroudsburg.

"Then we match each of them up with a child who is in need of personal attention or social development."

To become a Big Brother or Big Sister, a volunteer has to go through a detailed application process that involves background checks, and an intensive home interview.

The actual training may only take a few minutes, but with screening and clearances, the enrollment process can take from three to four weeks.

"We are very careful about what we look for in a volunteer," says Sargent. "It's a serious commitment. We evaluate personality and character to determine an applicant's level of interest and their sense of responsibility."

Sargent says that sometimes a prospective volunteer doesn't think it through and will "flake out" during the interview because he or she becomes aware of what the commitment to a child, or what she calls a "little," will involve.

How it works

"We require that a Big Brother or Sister be available to help a little for at least one to three hours a week. We also try to match a mentor with a specific child based upon what we think are similar interests and complementary personalities," said Sargent.

"We have known all along that Big Brothers Big Sisters' mentoring has a long-lasting, positive effect on a child's confidence, grades, and social skills," says Karen Mathis, BBBS of America's past president and CEO, "and the results of this impact study scientifically confirm that belief."

Carbon County currently has seven mentors working in the field while four littles are waiting to be matched.

One of the existing matchups had begun in 2007 and will end soon because the little will turn 18. Sargent said there are 43 mentor-little matchups in Monroe County.

"Our mentors and littles participate in a wide variety of activities," says Sargent.

"Sometimes a mentor will take a little out to eat or to a movie. They can go to sporting events with tickets that are donated by sponsors. Another time a mentor just might spend an hour talking to a little on the phone. There are no requirements, other than regular communication and visitation. The key is creating a trusting friendship that builds a confidence and a comfort level for the child."

Their stories

Kristina Mauer of Jim Thorpe recently celebrated her 18-month anniversary with Jayla, a Lansford middle school girl, whose life circumstances are typical of a child who can benefit from the program.

"Without biological parents to care for her, Jayla was adopted by an aunt and uncle who already had raised their own children into their 20s and 30s," says Mauer.

"Soon after the adoption, her aunt died from cancer. When I met Jayla her school grades were very poor and she was being bullied in school."

Mauer, 24, a graduate of Lycoming College, spends several hours a week with Jayla going out to eat, attending concerts, shopping at malls, helping with homework projects, and cooking up recipes together.

"It's been a tremendous experience for both of us," she says.

"Jayla is even learning to play a musical instrument. Her social skills are far better too. Besides her school grades improving, she goes out to have fun with friends now."

Mauer said, "I never thought I would be responsible for another person, but this experience has helped me sleep better at night. Nothing beats seeing a smile on Jayla's face when we are out and about. We've really become the best of friends."

Michael Gilliar, a real estate broker from Albrightsville, has been a Big Brother for the past three years. He began mentoring Dayton when the child was 9 years old. Gilliar says that Dayton comes from a loving home with a caring mother and grandmother, but has been missing a male role model in his life.

"When I met Dayton, he was reserved and cautious," Gilliar says.

"He is home-schooled and is less interactive with his peers than most kids. Though it took us some time, I could tell that he was a very interesting and bright kid just waiting to shine. He also had a lack of trust."

Time and talk have resulted in progress.

"Dayton talks more independently now and has opened up emotionally."

Gilliar and Dayton have hiked, kayaked, gone out on ATVs, bowled and carved pumpkins together.

"My family loves him. He's a regular fixture at our holiday parties."

Gilliar places his own perspective on being a Big Brother.

"I have received immense personal satisfaction just knowing I am filling a critical need as a role model in Dayton's life. It has been rewarding beyond words."