The joy of being needed

My neighbor Tom, who is 91, became a lot younger this week.

Tom mostly stays in his yard feeding the squirrels. In all my years here, I don't believe I ever saw him walking on our street.

But this week I saw a younger man with a skip to his steps walking a dog down the street. When I looked closer, I was surprised to see that it was Tom.

His smile was ear to ear as he practically danced across the street to show me his new charge. It was his granddaughter's dog, he said, and he was in charge of baby-sitting the dog while she went away for the day.

Now a college coed, his granddaughter doesn't often get to visit, and it was clear Tom was in seventh heaven.

It was also clear he never owned a dog and he didn't know how often they have to be walked. So he walked back and forth on the street at least every hour. I don't know who was more tired at the end of the day Tom or the dog.

Watching the transformation that came over him, it dawned on me that the best medicine he was given that week was a visit from his granddaughter, along with the feeling of being needed. At his age, it's a good feeling he no longer experiences.

People have to come do things for him. His son comes to mow the law and other relatives come to repair his house. They know Tom is too old to do those things for himself. But he's not too old to yearn to feel needed.

Tom's amazing transformation made me think of another gentleman much younger but in bad physical shape. Roger had to retire early because of ill health. Sadly, his physical condition kept deteriorating, and the worse he felt, the more he snapped at those around him.

Because he can no longer drive, Roger has to rely on volunteer drivers from a community organization that exists to help those who need rides to medical services.

Those volunteer drivers do a wonderful thing for our isolated community and for the older people who would be stuck without them.

But the drivers didn't want to drive Roger to his appointments because of his bad attitude and constant complaints.

One day when the coordinator couldn't get another driver, she had to leave the office and drive Roger herself. She told me later that Roger did his typical complaining, and the drives to and from the doctor's office went pretty much as expected until she had a brainstorm of an idea.

When she was helping Roger into his home, she asked him if he would agree to volunteer for the organization.

"What's wrong with you?" snapped Roger. "Can't you see I can't do anything?"

She reminded him he could still answer the phone. "You have such a strong, clear voice. We could really use you to help take our phone calls. You can do it from your own phone," she said.

He didn't say anything as he settled into his home.

Later that week Roger called her with a question. Did she really think he would make a good telephone volunteer?

After she assured him, Roger started manning the phone one day a week, then took on more days when he found he could do it.

The amazing part of the story is the transformation in Roger. Because he was needed, he now had a purpose, and his entire outlook on life changed.

The volunteer drivers say "the new Roger" is definitely a nicer person.

Edith is an 84-year-old woman whose husband passed away years ago and whose family lives far away. She tells us she seldom hears from any of her four children, and that breaks her heart.

One day Edith fell in her home and couldn't get to the phone because she broke her hip. She lay there in pain for three days until an alert paper carrier noticed she wasn't picking up her papers. When he asked a neighbor to check on her, they found Edith badly in need of help.

After she was finally home from the hospital, Edith called a church group and said she knows how it feels not to have anyone to check on her. She suggested the church start a telephone ministry to call elderly people once a day just to check in and ask if they need anything.

The church women's group thought it was a great idea and a simple project to take on.

Guess who was their first volunteer?

Edith, the woman who needed that kind of help, was spurred on to call others in her position. Although she doesn't get out much, she says she now has great telephone friends and she feels good about coming up with the idea.

We all want to be needed, don't we?

And we all are needed because regardless of circumstances, we all have gifts to share with others.

Maybe to you it doesn't seem like much to visit an elderly friend or relative. But it means the world to someone who sits there longing for company.

Even if you have your own physical problems, there are ways you can help. Just ask Roger or Edith.

If you're feeling down and out, try experiencing the satisfaction of helping others.