Don't go near the alligators

I was sitting in warm sunshine next to a pond when a woman called out a warning:

"Don't go near the alligators, she said, clearly indicating she thought I was too close to the water. She said if I got too close, an alligator might jump up and pull me under.

In Florida, one has to assume an alligator might, just might, be in any body of water. Some people are paranoid at the thought.

I know one woman who screams in fright whenever she sees one floating by, even if the alligator is far away.

But after you've lived in Florida for a while, you have to make your peace with alligators.

When I first bought my sweet little Florida home, I loved the fact that the yard backed up to a pretty pond. I mentioned to a neighbor that I liked the fact that I could slide my kayak into the water and paddle away.

The neighbor strongly advised against it, saying that the pond was filled with alligators. I only ever saw one at a time, but that was enough for me. No kayaking in my backyard pond.

Members of the kayak club scoffed at me when I said I didn't want to kayak where there were alligators. "They won't hurt you," they insisted.

Little by little I found myself kayaking past alligators with the club. At first, I was more than a bit apprehensive. But soon seeing an alligator became routine. "Oh, just one more alligator," I thought.

Sometimes when I get visitors, they say they want to go kayaking, but not where there are alligators.

I told my daughter Maria there was only one place to kayak that didn't have alligators. I showed her an official county brochure that said there were no alligators in that creek.

After we kayaked there a few times and Maria felt comfortable, I told her there was just one problem with the brochure claiming there were no alligators there: "Alligators can't read," I told her.

The alligator in my backyard liked to sun itself on the bank of the golf course that skirts my property. It appeared to sleep all the time and didn't seem to pose a threat.

Then something strange started happening. The alligator that seemed to be sleeping on the bank started swimming toward me at an alarming speed when I went to work in my yard.

The first time it happened I dropped my gardening tools and wouldn't go back in the yard to pick them up for weeks.

When I met a Florida wildlife officer, I told him about the strange behavior of that alligator.

"Don't worry," he chuckled. "Alligators only eat small pets and short women." After he chuckled at his idea of a joke, he said the alligator's behavior changed because some woman in the neighborhood was feeding it. The alligator came to associate women with food.

Luckily, the alligator grew too big and was removed from the pond.

When visitors worry about alligators when we go kayaking, I tell them no sweat: "There has never been a case of an alligator eating a kayaker," I tell them.

But then I add that if they fall in the water they are no longer called a kayaker. They're called "lunch." They don't think my joke is funny.

I had to stop saying that when a small story in our local paper told about an alligator attacking a kayaker, taking a bite out of the boat. Turns out the kayaker was fishing and snagged the unhappy gator.

A friend of mine tells the story of going alligator hunting at night with her husband. Her job was to hold the light when her husband and his brother hooked a gator. The beast they snagged broke the line and sank to the bottom of the lake. After waiting for 30 minutes for the gator to surface, they gave up and started motoring away. That's when the angry gator attacked the boat, getting its head and feet in the boat before they shot it.

All these alligator stories make me think of the people kind of alligators we encounter in life.

Like the hunted alligator that bides its time before attacking, some people who harbor a hurt, real or imagined, hold a grudge and wait for a while before attacking when it's least expected.

We all have alligators in our life. We just don't call them that.

An alligator can be someone whose constant negativity sucks the energy out of us.

An alligator can be a passive-aggressive person who needs to control everyone. He wants everything done his way because he thinks only his ideas are the best.

Some alligators are obvious. Some are harder to find, perhaps hiding behind an attractive face.

The winsome woman who slowly but surely separates her husband from his family so she can be the only one in his life is one example.

Some alligators act docile until bouts of anger flare suddenly, scorching all within range and making others quake.

Sometimes we don't recognize an alligator until we feel the bite.

Alligators, at least the human kind, are everywhere, not just in Florida.

As the woman at the pond warned, don't get too close to these alligators. They just might pull you under water until you drown.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.