Potty talk

I have noticed that there are certain things that people just don't talk about; things that are perfectly natural and perfectly human; and perfectly taboo for some reason.

One of those topics is, umm, bathroom habits.

Now, I know this subject may be a little uncomfortable for some of you, so I will try to ease you into it by addressing some non-taboo but relevant bathroom dilemmas.

First, there is the ongoing debate over the toilet paper roll being hung in either an over or under fashion.

Some people can become quite distressed if it is not hung correctly.

(Under, in our house.)

Then there are the struggles of getting everyone to practice safe and thorough handwashing techniques.

Why this should ever be questioned let alone ignored altogether baffles me … ewww.

And of course, the battle wages on with the whole toilet seat being left up or down issue.

(For you guys who are still unsure, down. Always down. The ladies will love you for it and it will keep you safe from any type of retaliation and trust me, there will be retaliation.)

So far so good? Great.

Ok. Take a deep breath … exhale ... now read on.

If we are honest with each other, I think we could all agree that as we age, some things become more … difficult.

The stress in our daily lives, poor eating habits and even the medications we take can certainly put a strain on the way our bodies function.

Do you get where I am going with this?

Ok, I am just going to come out with it.

I saw the most interesting and amusing article/ad online for what seems to be a brilliant and necessary product.

What immediately caught my eye was the very first sentence: "Why Americans are the worst poopers in the world (And what to do about it.)"

I have to be honest, I spit coffee out of my nose after first reading it, but I was intrigued, so I read on.

Before the invention of the modern-day commode, humans squatted to do their business.

In many western countries, they still do to this day.

It is how we are designed.

According to the article/ad, when seated on our porcelain thrones, our bodies are at a 90 degree angle preventing the puborectalis muscle from fully relaxing causing such ailments as constipation, hemorrhoids, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, bloating, straining and bladder and pelvic floor issues.

Makes sense to me, but I am thinking that I am definitely not about to dig any holes or break out the old chamber pot any time soon.

Thankfully, I don't have to! (And neither do you!)

Introducing, the Squatty Potty.

Yes, for as little as $25 plus shipping for the Ecco version, and up to $80 for the adjustable Tao Bamboo model, you can totally change your life!

The Squatty Potty is a stool designed to promote better health through proper posture and it even slides up neatly against your commode for easy storage.

The instructions are simple: while seated, simply place your feet (spread wide) on the stool elevating your knees above your hips. (This mimics the squatting position.)

Gently lean forward a little so your abdomen touches your thighs (Stay tall and don't hunch over), and then "let gravity do the work" because after all "gravity is your friend."

To be honest, it looks quite silly but hey, if it works, more power to you! (Or less, in this case.)

And even if it doesn't, if you check out the reviews on amazon.com, you are bound to be entertained for at least 15 minutes if not more.

Here are just a few that made me chuckle:

"Fiber is great but squatty potty is fantastic (especially for short people)."

"Great experience. WOW"

"Heaven on earth buy one! ... Side-note, you may obtain a god-complex after using it for a while thinking that you're superior to the non-squatters. Don't feel guilty. It's true."

"Yes, this is a glorified step stool ... haha get it, stool?"

"The only downside is that the front is apparently the perfect place for a cat to perch and stare at you with disdain as you try to do your business!"

With all of this awesomeness available to you at such a great price, you'll surely want one for the home and for the office.

I hear they make great Christmas gifts, too.