'Dancing with the Stars' comes to Slatington

Dear Editor,

"Dancing with the Stars" has arrived in Slatington! The panel of judges are residents who get no satisfaction at council meetings. There are no 10s given and there is only one type of dance, as the council performs the "Slatington Side-step," not the "Charleston."

All contestants are council members paired with recipients of welfare. All contestants are voted off by residents in one night. No coming back week after week. You had enough practice time after each council meeting.

You perform your one dance and when completed, you can follow the police chief off the dance floor, as he knows the only way out!

The show is hosted by the same host as "America's Funniest Home Videos." This could be confusing as the host would not know which show is being aired DWTS or funny videos. Actually it could be thought of as (Slatington) "America's Got No Talent!"

The reason for no second week of dancing is one council member is not qualified as he is not registered to vote, therefore cannot perform as a dancer.

You get only five minutes, and if you are over the time limit, you are escorted out by the police chief. No contestants will be interviewed as no one is left, except the mayor, and he knows nothing to offer anyway that is worthwhile.

The chalk lady walking around town would be the timekeeper and would mark all viewers' tires. There would be no prayers before the show as you cannot mix politics, dancing and religion. No food commercials, because one council member ate all the food to be advertised and nothing would be available to show on television.

No props would be used, furnished by one councilman, but it is all acceptable by code enforcement officer, as he passes everything (including gas) or looks the other way as he hates Slatington!

There would be no record keeping by the office as council would not want any resident to review anything.

Signed,

Former Councilman Ron Scheffler