Let's play!

he idea of a play date - a few hours set aside for children to socialize and play together - seems like a quaint but impossible idea with busy work and home lives.

Today's parents are finding that despite the challenges, play dates are more important than ever.

If a child isn't in day care, play groups are one of the few opportunities (for both children and parents) to regularly get out of the house to flex their social muscles.

In one Palmerton home, the sound of children giggling quietly frequently drifts up the stairs, as does the occasional outburst. It's all part of the learning process as children learn to share toys and space with others their age.

"It was important for him and for me," said Jacy Hablett of Lehighton, who joined the play group with her son Cole, who is 2 1/2.

"I'm a stay-at-home mom, and he needs to learn to play with other kids."

Why play dates matter

"It's very important to ease your child into larger groups. If they can learn to share with one or two kids, that's great," said Jennifer Colecio, a parent educator with Carbon County Right From the Start.

"It helps them understand that they're not the only child in the room, and that they need to learn patience."

Carbon County Right From the Start is a free program that supports parents as they become their child's first teacher through play and fun learning activities in their home.

Twice a month, families in the program are also invited to take part in a play group. It offers the children a chance to interact with others and learn critical skills that they'll need in preschool and school.

"It gives them that early school setting, and I think for individual children it's very important," said Colecio. "At home, they're ruling the roost. They have to listen to their parents, but they don't have to listen to anyone else or learn how to share or wait their turn, if they are an only child."

Colecio, the mother of school-age triplets, enrolled her children in the program when they were 18 months old.

"At 18 months, I was just looking for additional support. I had great family support, but around 18 months we needed to get out of the four walls that we were in," she said.

"Although they were socializing with each other, it was important for them to learn how to socialize with other kids."

Play dates can be as structured or unstructured as you'd like, the parents agreed. Most parents simply mix kids and toys with good results. Carbon County Right From the Start sets time aside for a "free-for-all" play, then gathers the kids together for snacks, an activity, and a short group game.

"We try to pull them all together, which helps them to learn to wait their turn," she added.

What is the ideal age to join a play group? It's up to the parent and child, but most suggest that around the time a child is crawling or walking is an ideal time to introduce playmates.

The Palmerton group, which typically includes children between the ages of 2 and 4 and meets throughout the county, began when most of the children were 18 months old.

Today, with an average age of 3, the children are familiar with their peers and play eagerly alongside each other.

Finding play groups

Unless you're lucky enough to have friends or co-workers with children the same age, with a similar schedule, it can be difficult to find a play group that meets your needs.

The moms we spoke to in Palmerton met mostly online, through Facebook and the Smile Mom app. They were either new to the area or didn't have many friends with children.

As each mom met new parents, they were invited to join the group - it eventually swelled to 15 children, although only four or five children attend most weeks.

If the group fits, you'll quickly know. All of the parents in the Palmerton play group agreed that their group has melded nicely, with both the children and parents quickly finding common ground - whether that common ground be parenting style or a preference to play with trucks or dolls.

"They love it," said Shannon Wetzel, who travels to the group from Walnutport with her son Layne, 3. "They get very excited when it's time to get together."

Their local group rotates its weekly play groups between homes, parks and inexpensive outings. They recently went to a local bounce house, but have also gone to zoos, and interactive stores like Country Junction.

Finding new parent friends online can be a bit like online dating, they admitted.

Some parents just don't mesh well together for various reasons, either because of scheduling difficulties or parenting styles. Before committing to meet someone you've met online, take the time to speak with them multiple times.

"Become friends with them on Facebook first," said Wetzel.

Doing this has allowed her to see pictures and posts from potential "mom friends," which let her know whether that family shared similar values and parenting styles.

Beyond play dates

Colecio noted that finding play opportunities doesn't have to be expensive, but it can take some creativity to find free or low-cost groups to join.

"In many circumstances, you're paying for a day care or a preschool. You're paying to go to the YMCA or organized events," she said.

Both Colecio and the other parents we spoke with encouraged others to ask around for low-cost opportunities for children.

The local libraries each host story time for preschool age children and younger, and houses of worship can also have opportunities for children to get together.

Right From the Start is also accepting new children into its program and accompanying play group.

Once you've found a good fit, you're likely to find even more opportunities to socialize in the community - either with other members of that group, or through word-of-mouth.