Where We Live: The elusive dress

Last summer before I began covering Palmerton for the Times News, I went shopping with my future daughter-in-law for a dress to wear to her wedding.

The store clerks were kind and helpful, and there was plenty of selection. The ladies asked if they could help me find a "mother-of-the-bride" dress.

Well, that answer was no on several fronts, all having nothing to do with them. Let's just say in the words of Meghan Trainor, "I ain't no size 2."

That whole "mother-of-the-bride" dress title really was quite distracting.

What's wrong with some of them being called "mother-of-the-groom" dresses? After all, we're half of this equation. It's not like we're chopped liver or something?

Oh sure, the fashion industry probably says something like, "They're all the same! What's your problem?"

It just feels a little like I'm getting my older sister's hand-me-downs.

"It's a mother-of-the-bride dress, but that's OK. You can wear it, too," the proverbial universe says.

Pity, pity, smirk, smirk.

To top it off, I've come to learn (via the all-knowing Internet) that the mother-of-the-bride, according to etiquette, dictates the style and color of the groom's mother's dress - aka me. Hmmpf!

OK, so if she picks a pink, formal satin gown, then I'm supposed to also pick a formal gown of a complementing color to pink. Do you see dollar sign? I do. What if I prefer a short dress made out of cotton? I don't. I'm just saying for the sake of argument.

Or maybe even worse, say she picks a short, plain dress without any sparkle and it's camo green.

It gives me the creeps just thinking about it. I think I should be able to wear what I want. Who would really blame me?

Back to reality, I really don't want to be anything but courteous, so I have politely waited for my wedding instructions.

The mother-of-the-bride has chosen an all lace, knee-length dress in royal blue.

Similarly, the bridesmaids are wearing knee-length dresses, but in sky blue. Well, I found a frock that was gold - too bad it didn't fit.

Maybe it sounds like I am being difficult. Really, I'm not trying to be. I adore the girl my son has chosen, and I really do want her to feel welcome in our family.

I also did return to the Internet for more answers and found that it is perfectly acceptable for the mother-of-the-groom to wear a color opposite on the color wheel of the main color, which in this case is orange. I'm not wearing orange.

Likewise, I won't wear black to my son's wedding, nor white.

That's just tacky.