Warmest Regards: Want a friend? Join a meet-up

When I wrote a column a few weeks ago about making friends through meet-up groups, it generated a surprising amount of email.

A few wanted to know more about meet-up groups. Were they like dating sites? A few wanted to know how to find a meet-up.

While many meet-ups include both men and women, some are strictly for women only.

The coed meet-ups could lead to dating but that’s not the case as often as we might wish. That’s because there are always way more women than men who show up. However, I do know two couples who met that way.

I think younger people were using meet-up groups long before I even knew about them. It wasn’t until a little over a year ago that I learned about meet-ups when woman approached me to ask if I would do a story on her meet-up party group designed for a younger crowd.

I’ve since been surprised to learn how many varied meet-up groups are out there. Two of the popular ones in most areas are the walking meet-up and dine-out meet-ups.

In our area I found a book club meet-up, a movie group and a widows’ meet-up. Just today I got an email from my friend Linda saying she was starting a singers meet-up. Starting next week they will meet at her place to sing songs and hang out together.

Now bear in mind that every single area is different. I live in Florida where there is a wide variety of meet-up groups with more appearing every month.

I think the primary reason for that is people here are generally transplants from another part of the country. They are looking for friends and for activities.

Several readers wrote to ask me how to find groups in their area. Just Google meet-up groups and the name of your town or county. Or, go to www.meetup.com. I must say the Lehigh Valley Fun with Friends group seems to have a lot going for it.

One woman wrote to say she knows how to send and receive email but doesn’t know how to use the Internet to find meet-ups. The easy way for her to start is at the local library where they might tell you where to find someone to help.

Another answer is to find an elementary or middle school student who will teach you. Kids learn computer skills early and some won’t mind playing teacher for you.

When I Googled “local meet-up groups” I was surprised when the main response was for a kayaking meet-up group. It meets an hour away but I wondered how the computer connected my love of kayaking with the club. Like the old joke goes, “How does it know?”

The life coach I interviewed for the article I wrote about how to live a successful single life suggested people join meet-ups.

“If you can’t find the one you want, start one,” she said. That’s good advice, if you’re brave enough to pass out fliers in your neighborhood.

One widow in our neighborhood did that and four showed up at her first women’s luncheon. They now have about 20 coming each month — all because someone was brave enough to start one.

I live in an extraordinarily friendly development. The more people I get to know here, the more I realize I picked the right spot to buy a home.

Here’s one example. We all know some people are reluctant to go anywhere alone. They want to meet people but they won’t go to a meet-up alone.

When one introverted woman told my gregarious friend Diane that she was too intimidated to walk into our crowded coed monthly meet-ups, Diane thought a smaller women’s group would be more manageable for the woman.

So Diane, who has more friends than my yard has weeds, helped by starting a biweekly women’s luncheon. Diane goes out of her way to help everyone feel welcome, especially newcomers.

I don’t have any trouble walking into a group of any size by myself. I could never work for a newspaper if I were hesitant to approach strangers.

One local woman who sent me an email in response to my column asked if I would take her with me to the next women’s luncheon.

Ironically, I had never been to one but I had no qualms picking up a stranger and taking her there. We both had a wonderful time and met some nifty ladies.

But I did find I have one problem meeting people in big groups: I can seldom remember names.

I went to Diane’s party where I only knew two people in the big crowd. Yes, I talked to people all night and had a good time. But I only walked away from there remembering three or four names.

In the ladies’ luncheon meet-up, there were 19 at the first meeting I attended. By working hard at getting to know the women I knew four rather well by the time I left. But I can’t even remember the names of the others. That will take time.

The point is, if you want to make new friends you have to start somewhere. Meet-ups might help you start.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.