How to live forever
Sometime ago I took a hike with my wife and children up the steep incline of Chimney Rock Mountain in North Carolina. As we climbed the several hundred wooden stairs to the top, I couldn't help but notice the many names and initials carved into the wooden bannisters.
"JR +SS, Tony loves Chris, Jackson was here - 4/17/13" were some of the engravings.
First I thought these marks were obvious signs of vandalism. We saw many of these "this one loves that one" etched inside of badly shaped hearts. I cannot believe these kids in "love" then are still in love now.
Then a new thought entered my mind. When I see names painted on highway bridges or initials scratched onto public bathroom stalls, I think that these marks are desperate attempts from people who are trying to leave something permanent about their lives behind. They want to say to the world that they had lived and that all that may be left of them to be remembered after they die will be their cryptic names written in public places for someone to see.
In a poignant scene from Arthur Miller's play, "The Crucible," just before John Proctor is about to sign his name to a document to falsely confess to witchcraft in order to save his life, he pulls back the pen. He struggles with his conscience about admitting to the crime when others who were innocent have been hanged because they refused to lie to save their lives.
"I have given you my soul," he says to the deputy governor, "now leave me my name!" Ultimately, Proctor rescinds his confession and hangs, which preserves the integrity of his name and becomes his legacy to his wife and child.
We don't pay too much attention to our names. Some of us don't even like what our parents named us at birth. When we die, our given first names, and in some cases, even our last names depart along with us.
To some, leaving a legacy is not important. They say live your life the best you can, and then after you die, who cares if anyone remembers you.
And yet, dying doesn't have to be the end of our earthly lives. If we live a meaningful life, we can live forever inside the hearts of others. I hold the lives of a few special people who have since passed, some a long time ago and some this year.
When I was student, I was inspired to teach high school by a young Spanish teacher who never gave up on me each time I showed her my frustration with the language. My friends and I fooled around too much in her class. She learned to laugh with us and we learned to love her far more than the subject. On the night of our prom, in which she was to be a chaperone, she was shot and killed by an angry boyfriend who happened to be a history teacher in our school. I'll never forget the devastation when we heard at the prom that she was murdered. I took her into my heart that night and I've kept her there for the nearly 50 years now. I became a teacher because of her inspiration. I even named one of my main characters in my novel in tribute to her.
When I decided to marry a much younger woman. I felt I needed approval from my sister, Carol and my friend, George. They were both delighted about my newfound happiness. Carol and George have departed this world for the peace of heaven, but they are still much alive in my thoughts and if you see me smiling when no one is near me it could be that I'm thinking of my loving sister or my dear friend.
According to the website, Quora, the most important legacy we can leave behind to our loved ones when we die is not money, nor houses, nor cars, nor other things to be divided in the will. It's our honesty. Those who care enough to tell us their truth are showing their love for us. Sometimes it hurts, other times it makes us angry, but we still realize that what they've told us is what we needed to hear.
I've also learned that the best way I can love my family and friends is to always be honest with them. My immortality is a given because my love for them will never die even after I do.
Rich Strack can be reached at katehep11@gmail.com.
