Inside looking out: Famous last words

The afterlife that many of us believe is the next stage of existence once we leave this world justifies the manner in which we live our lives. Yet, to my understanding, no person has ever returned after death to tell us what we can expect.

We do have knowledge of some of the last words spoken during the final hour of life. A few notables who in lived in the public eye and have since passed on left earth with a light heart and even a sense of humor.

These pronouncements before death have been confirmed by ear witnesses and documented on written records.

Let’s start with Harvey Korman. He was a TV and movie funnyman, perhaps most remembered from his skits with Tim Conway on “The Carol Burnett Show.”

In 2008, Korman died at age 81, but before his final breath he looked up from his bed and said, “Tape Seinfeld for me.”

Who knows if he planned on watching the program later that evening or after arriving from an unexpected return from the hereafter. The Seinfeld recording is still waiting for him just in case.

Another famous comic of the 20th century was in his final hour after reaching the age of 100. Bob Hope was asked by his wife where he would like to be buried. He answered, “Surprise me,” and a moment later he died.

Politeness is not something you would expect from someone who is about to have her head cut off. In 1793, Marie Antoinette was sentenced to die by revolutionaries who had stormed the royal family’s castle and captured Marie before she was able to escape. While walking up the steps to face the guillotine, she stepped on the foot of her executioner. She looked at him with a smile and said, “Pardon me. I didn’t do it on purpose.” Her courtesy failed to spare her from the blade, but I guess you might say she used her head kindly before it had fallen into the basket.

Death ends the significance of lifetime, but that didn’t stop author Oscar Wilde from fretting over a trivial matter just before he expired.

Wilde was dying of meningitis at age 46. He told those at his bedside he and the wallpaper in his room had been “fighting a duel to the death” for quite some time. This dispute caused him to remark, “One of us has to go.” Well we know how that worked out. Apparently, if walls can talk, they can laugh too, as might have happened at Oscar’s demise.

A 20th century American, Nancy Langhorne was born into a wealthy Virginia family and after graduating from finishing school, she married, but soon thereafter was divorced. She moved to England and was the first woman elected to the British Parliament. She married Waldorf Astor and together they had five children. While on her deathbed in 1964, she turned to her son and asked,” Jakie, is it my birthday or am I dying?” Before he could think of a kind answer, her last breath had answered her own question. Perhaps she had been given advance notice that she’d been reborn into an afterlife. If true, then her birthday and her death day occurred at the same exact moment.

Now this next one is far too funny for me to believe to be true, but still worth mentioning. Lawrence of Rome was a deacon under Pope Sixtus II. He was caught giving church money to the poor instead of by law to the Roman Empire. His punishment dictated by Emperor Valerian was to be burned to death.

While Deacon Lawrence, who was known for his courage, along with an odd sense of humor, was set on fire, witnesses claim to have heard him shout, “Turn me over. I’m done on this side!” I’m guessing the Romans, with all their acclaim for advanced thinking, hadn’t invented the rotisserie.

Living into old age has its issues other than the possibility of bad health. Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister of England who inspired his countrymen to defeat Adolf Hitler’s Germany in World War II, was a highly intelligent man. So be it then that after living a full and rich 90 years, he was heard saying these words in his final breath: “I’m bored with it all.”

Well, I’m not bored with it all just yet, but if given the opportunity to speak from my soul when it comes my time, I’ve thought of a few lines I might say to whomever should be around to hear them.

“Save me a piece of that apple pie.”

“Is it too late to go fishing?”

“Man, it’s beautiful out there.”

How about, “I’m finally gonna catch up on my sleep.”

I’ll probably raise my head off the pillow and say, “The garbage is full again, but somebody else has to take it out this time.”

Rich Strack can be reached at katehep11@gmail.com.