Life with Liz: Managing change

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive, but those who can best manage change.”

The last year has been one of tremendous personal change for me and for our family. When I am faced with a change that bothers me but is inevitable, I repeat this adage, which I learned in high school biology a long time ago.

Recently, an organization that is near and dear to my heart, the Boy Scouts of America, underwent a huge change. If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard, they’ve decided to allow girls to enter the ranks of the Scouts of America.

Growing up, I was always aware that my dad had been an Eagle Scout. For a time, when I was very small, he continued to serve as a scoutmaster, and my summer mornings were full of steak and eggs over the campfire as his troop staged impromptu campouts in our backyard. Any time we found ourselves in a pickle, I would get lectured on the merits of “being prepared” as my Dad whipped out a pocketknife or jimmied together something to temporarily fix whatever jam we were in until he could assemble the correct parts.

“Improvise, adapt, overcome,” was his other mantra, so between the two, “be prepared to improvise, adapt, and overcome” has become my own life motto.

Both A and G have been members of the Cub Scouts since they were old enough to join ranks. An earned his Arrow of Light last year and moved on to Boy Scouts and G followed in his foot steps and earned his this year, and is already planning his weeklong Scout camp adventure with glee. The Arrow of Light is the highest award a Cub can earn, and it is my hope that both boys will follow in my dad’s footsteps and earn their Eagle someday.

So, we are a scouting family. E is even doing her thing over in the Girl Scout Troop. For the record, I was perfectly fine with the boys having their organization and the girls having theirs. Since I spent some time in the Girl Scouts, and I’ve been following all three of my kids, I’m well aware that although the programs have many fundamental tenets in common, among them Duty to God, Country and other people, they are also very different. Since all three of my kids are enthusiastic Scouts, I was fine with the programs the way they have always been.

However, the powers that be have decided that the Boy Scout program will change. I have a choice to make. I can leave the program, I can complain and resist a change that is going to happen, whether I like it or not, or I can try to understand the change and try to evolve and grow with the program. Since I don’t see my kids wanting to leave the organization, and the organization can’t exist without parental and adult support, I had to go with plan C: understanding and growth.

My first step toward acceptance was to realize that as a female, I’ve grown up with the Boy Scouts. No one ever threw me out of the backyard campout for being a girl, and since I’ve attended just about every Cub meeting as an assistant den leader or adult volunteer, I’ve been there all along. E, and many other sisters, have also been going to camp with the boys, attending our annual trips to Gettysburg, or the Battleship New Jersey, or the Statue of Liberty. They’ve stood side by side on the archery range, they’ve grabbed the tug of war rope, they’ve gone swimming, boating and zip lining right along with the boys. This hasn’t detracted from any of the experiences my boys have had, instead, it has brought us closer together as a family and as a troop and pack.

Scouts isn’t a one-size-fits-all organization. There are various ranks, various badges, and many different activities to appeal to all types of kids. The very first merit badge that A earned was for chess, not exactly the stereotypical outdoorsy, survival type activity that you think of when you first think of Scouts. Sure, there are requirements that all Scouts must meet in order to advance rank, and not every Scout meets them. Some kids are just happy to belong to an organization, and don’t necessarily advance in rank. They’re not penalized for it. If less-engaged boys haven’t held a troop back, I can’t see where the addition of motivated girls is going either.

Maybe it’s time that we start searching for more ways to find common ground between the sexes, and the Scouts may be a great place to start. Maybe it’s time we start accepting change. A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Are those qualities that depend on if you’re male or female? No, they aren’t. Are they bad things for any girl or boy to strive for and work toward? No, they aren’t. Are there going to be situations that are a little weird or a little awkward at first? Most likely, but it’s my job as a parent, and as a leader in the organization, to help prepare kids for these changes.

I’m sure I will be improvising a lot over the next few years, as situations arise that aren’t accounted for in our training. It’s inevitable. I’m sure we’re all going to have to adapt, whether it’s by adding female bathroom and sleeping facilities to our camps or by changing “boys” to “kids” or “participants” when I’m addressing a room. But, at the end of the day, I believe that the scouting organization will overcome this drastic change, and be a better organization for it, and that will ensure that a great organization has a great future for many more great kids.

Liz Pinkey is a contributing writer to the Times News. Her column appears weekly in our Saturday feature section.