Treasure the friends that guide you

My friend Fran is more than a friend.

She's my moral compass, my inspiration and also a guiding light.

I know. One can't say that about many people, but those of us lucky enough to know her believe she's in a class by herself.

Some people are good with words. They're good with telling others what to do. Fran doesn't do that. By her own example, she shows us a more worthwhile way to live.

When it comes to her own problems, you have to pay close attention to even know she has problems. In the nine years that I've known her, I can't remember a time when she did admit she had a problem. Yet she has had to overcome a lot of obstacles.

At the age of 72, when she owed more on her house than it was worth, she had to sell her wonderful waterfront property at a loss and move to a place she could better afford. She and her daughter bought a small fixer-upper that reeked of raw sewage and went to work transforming it into a nice home.

All I ever heard about it from her was framed in her can-do attitude.

That's what I mean by showing others an example.

When I saw her after her move, I asked her to tell me truthfully how she was doing. She had to leave the town, the support system and the many friends she had to move to that more affordable area. I figured that had to be really hard for her.

This is how she answered me:

"You know, every morning when we each get up, we can decide to be down in the dumps or unhappy about something. Or, we can decide to be happy. I pick happy."

See what I mean? She never spouts platitudes. She simply shows us a better way by her own example.

There are many times when her words resonate in my mind: When I'm disgruntled about something, I tell myself I can decide to be unhappy. Or, I can decide to accept the same situation and be happy. I pick happy, and sure enough, determining that state of mind makes it happen.

Decades ago, Norman Vincent Peale had a name for that. He called it the power of positive thinking.

I keep a positive attitude about 95 percent of the time. When I lose that perspective, I hang out with Fran. Just being with someone who is always forcefully positive rubs off in beneficial ways.

See if this ever happens to you. You're feeling chipper but then you spend some time with someone who complains about everything and keeps telling you how bad life is and how rotten people are. By the time you leave there, you are no longer chipper.

On the other hand, when you're with people who truly enjoy life and keep a positive attitude, that attitude is contagious and you find yourself enjoying your time with them.

The attitude of others sometimes rubs off, doesn't it?

Saturday, when I was having a really scary time with some health issues, I went to a church meeting and was thrilled to see Fran there. When we got a minute alone, I told her my concerns. Within a few minutes she had connected me with others who had helpful information I needed.

That woman is a marvel. With all that for background you can imagine my consternation when Fran told me she will be moving again, even farther away.

Her daughter wants to move to a bigger city with more resources. When she asked her mother how she would feel about moving again and going ever farther away from her many friends, Fran had one of her positive answers.

"I believe we all have to bloom where we are planted. I will bloom where I am planted, wherever we go."

I would find that more than difficult.

The older we get, the more difficult it is to leave behind our network of friends and start all over again.

I have no doubt that Fran can do it.

Wise woman that she is, she realizes nothing in life stays the same. We just have to adjust to it.

The friends we love may move or pass away. The job we enjoy may end. The love we think is a forever relationship may end.

In other words, life constantly changes and life as we know it fluctuates.

To tell the truth, I'm not good at accepting change if it means the people I love will no longer be part of my life.

Just this week alone, one great friend passed away, leaving a big void for many of us. Then came Fran's news that she will probably be moving farther away.

I know it's all part of life. I accept it because I have to. But I sure don't have to like it.

They say people come into our life for a reason, a season or forever.

For me, those I care about are in my heart forever, even if I can't see them anymore.

I am grateful for wise friends like Fran who come into my life and impart their wisdom as well as their friendship.

If you've been lucky enough to have a friend like Fran, I'm sure you understand what I mean.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.