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A little humor

Published March 04. 2017 09:02AM

A little humor for a Saturday morning.

•••

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, little Larry stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Larry?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

•••

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter," asked Larry. "Giving up?"

•••

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Larry quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

•••

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the police officer. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

•••

This one I just got from a friend, very funny.

A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening Times:

A passenger in a taxi heading for Stafford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments, everything was silent in the cab. Then the shaking driver said "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years.

Hope these gems brightened your morning.

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