Some more funny headlines
By DEN MCLAUGHLIN
dmclaughlin@tnonline.com
Several years ago I started publishing in this space once a year some funny headlines from newspapers across the nation that actually appeared in print. Here's the latest edition.
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Soviet Virgin lands short of goal again
British left waffles on Falkland Islands
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
Two sisters reunite after 18 years at checkout counter
Two Soviet ships collide - one dead
Red tape holds up new bridges
Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
Hospitals are sued by seven foot doctors
Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Man is fatally slain
Miners refuse to work after death
Never withhold herpes from loved one
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Fifth-graders get grill Lions
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Child's stool great for use in garden
Farmer Bill dies in House
Iraqi head seeks arms
Juvenile court tries shooting defendant
Kicking baby considered to be healthy
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
Robber holds up Albert's hosiery
Something went wrong in Jet crash, experts say
Squad helps dog bite victim
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
War dims hope for peace
Kids make nutritious snacks
Enfield (London) couple slain; police suspect homicide
New study on obesity looks for larger test group
Local high school dropouts cut in half
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
and finally
Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
