In case of an emergency

You'll never guess what I saw on my way to work Thursday morning.

Snowflakes! On Oct. 15!

That's just wrong.

I'm so not ready for snow. Cold weather. Ice. Winter coats. Snow shoveling. High oil bills.

On my way to work after attending the local West End Rotary Club meeting, and seeing snowflakes, I thought about what the speakers from the Red Cross, Gail Toscano and DGE Bob Wehe said about being prepared for emergencies.

They had all kinds of helpful tips for home and the car.

Some of their suggestions for what to have in the car included things like a first aid kit, flashlight, tools, a blanket, water and snacks.

Guess what?

If anything happens, like it's the middle of a snowstorm and I lose control of the car and I go over a bank? I'm going to die. Because I have none of those things in my car.

What I DO have is a camera. So I'll be able to take pictures of myself in various stages of panic for my scrapbook, in case I survive.

I have a week's supply of ketchup packets in the glove compartment. Do you think that would count as snacks?

I have several green grocery shopping bags. I might be able to stitch a blanket out of them because I do have a sewing kit in my purse. I don't have any bandaids but I might be able to stitch up a huge gapping wound. (Yeah right. Who am I kidding? I get woozy looking at my niece's bug bites!)

I have one chance of survival. It's called a Cell Phone.

My luck? I'll be in the Dead Zone. No pun intended.

Here are some suggestions they gave to have ready in your home in case of an emergency: Water, food, first aid kit, medications, radio, tools, clothing, personal items, money, contact information, pet supplies, map. And you're supposed to have it all in a bag, in a set place so you'll know exactly where to look for it when needed.

Sheesh. Who knew preparing for an emergency could be so much work?

They suggest that the water, food and medications should be refreshed every six months. I'd have to do that with the clothing, too, because I'm never the same weight from one six months to another.

And that money thing? Unless I place extra money in a locked box and give the key to Harry, there is no dollar bill safe from me. The first time I'd be a bit short on cash and there's a Clarks' sale, I'd be stealing that emergency stash quicker than you could say, 'Mama needs a new pair of shoes!'

Pet supplies. You mean I've got to save the cat, too?

Just kidding!

The only thing Tink needs are her treats. She's addicted. Did you ever see a cat in withdrawal? Eeesssh! Not pretty.

A map. The only map I'm putting in my emergency bag is a map that gets me to someplace where they don't have snow, tornadoes, hurricanes or any other natural disasters.

No such place?

Well dang! Then I guess I'll just stay where I am. Scratch the map.

If I do prepare myself an emergency kit, here is what I would put in it.

A case of Coke, a good book, a bag of chips, a Snuggie and clean underwear.

Look. If I'm stuck somewhere in the car or can't get out of my house, at least I'll have the things that make me happy until either someone rescues me or the angels come to take me to heaven.

So what were you thinking about when you saw the first snowflake of the season?