The right about wrong

I've been wrong twice in my life.

In the sixties, I predicted the Dave Clark Five would be bigger than the Beatles.

In 1986, with one out to go for my beloved New York Mets to lose the World Series, I turned to my friend and said, "Red Sox fans will be happy to win their first championship in nearly 70 years."

The Mets rallied in the ninth inning and won the Series the next day.

And that's my two times. I have been right about everything else.

Of course I'm kidding,

Early in life we are taught that wrong is bad. In school, wrong answers lead to low grades.

We hear, "You're hanging out with the wrong crowd."

We drive the car and make the wrong turn.

We eat the wrong foods.

We say the wrong words that hurt some one's feelings.

Is it possible to live through an entire day and never do anything wrong?

Let's be honest, everyone does something wrong, but not everyone admits to it.

In a New York Times article, Kristin Wong discusses what psychologists call, "cognitive dissonance," or how we deal with stress when we hold two contradictory opinions. You back into a parked car causing a dent on its bumper. You tell yourself you're a good driver so even though it's your fault, you blame the guy with the parked car because he didn't give you enough room to safely back up.

You're in a hurry so you jump in front of a child who stands in a checkout line holding two small items. You know you are a fair person so you convince yourself that the kid was just looking at the candy in the aisle and not really standing in line to pay.

You cope with what you do wrong by justifying your mistakes. There is always some kind of reason or excuse why it's never your fault.

Admitting you're wrong is uncomfortable and it can make you seem inferior to others. You shift the power of control when you admit wrongdoing to give someone else the advantage.

"I'm sorry I started the argument about the money you spent for the kids' sneakers," you say to your very angry wife. "I was wrong."

Admitting you were wrong to your wife gives her total control to either accept your apology or hold onto a grudge. If she remains angry with you, then the next time it's your fault, you will likely make up a reason to excuse your wrong actions because you know she'll not forgive you.

When you don't admit you're wrong, you can't accept constructive criticism.

"It's the teacher's fault why I failed the test," says your son.

You try to tell him he needs to study more. He has wrongly convinced himself that there's nothing that he can do to improve his grades.

The Times article points out that taking the high road and owning up to your mistakes reveals your honesty and your courage. When it's clear to others that you were wrong, but you continue to blame other circumstances, you can get people really mad at you. You can also lose friends and alienate family when you stubbornly justify why it's not your fault when it is. You show others weakness in character rather than strength.

I like this advice from American poet, Ogden Nash. "When you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up."

Being right and throwing it in another's face makes you look arrogant. Close your mouth and you practice the virtue of humility.

And for those of you who will never swallow your stubborn pride and admit fault to anything, you can live by the words of film producer Samuel Goldwyn: "I'm willing to admit I'm not always right, but I am never wrong."

Perhaps the most famous incident in history involving right and wrong was scientist Galileo's claim that the earth revolves around the sun.

His statement contradicted the Catholic Church's biblical teaching that the sun revolved around the earth.

In 1633, the Church put Galileo on trial and condemned him to death unless he recanted his view that the earth moved. To save his life, he signed the recantation. Three hundred and fifty years later, Pope John II rectified the church's stand and admitted Galileo was right.

Better to be later than never is the lesson learned so I think I'll spend the next 350 years making right all my wrongs.

Rich Strack can be reached at katehep11@gmail.com.