Family adjusts when Dad is unplugged

Last week, I was mulling over the trials and tribulations of girl parenting, so this week decided to slap me in the face with a huge reminder of what a tremendous job parenting is all by itself.

The Wonderful Husband set off on what is apparently becoming an annual hunting trip with his college best friend to upstate New York.

Now, the WH being gone for a few days at a time is not usually a big deal. He has had the occasion to travel for work, and we are no stranger to extended hunting trips to Ohio, New Jersey, or even the nether regions of Pennsylvania for days at a time.

However, this particular trip is a little unnerving for me, because he is completely off the grid.

To be fair, he did offer to push the trip off until later in the year when the kids and I could join him and stay in a "rustic" cabin, while he was out hunting all day.

I'm going to be straight with you, I am no priss. I enjoy the outdoors a lot, and am always up for a weekend tenting trip or a backyard campout. However, asking me to spend "vacation" time in a cabin with my three children and limited amenities, which may or may not include running water, electricity and indoor toilets, in the snow belt of New York, at the beginning of winter, may have pushed the limits of adventure that I am willing to explore.

For all you other Wonderful Husbands out there who may want to sell your Wonderful Wives on this at some future date, do not ever expect to win an argument in which you say "three kids" and "use the outhouse" in the same sentence, especially not in an area where the average nightly temperature is already hovering in the low 20s.

I vaguely remember a time before cellphones. For the life of me, however, I do not know how parents did it back then. This is the week I realize just how dependent on technology I have become. I also realize just how much of a partnership the WH and I have when it comes to our family. It's not so much coordinating the little things like three kids who have to be at two different sport practices and one instrument lesson at the same time or a quick reminder to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home as it is the big things, like a quick text in the middle of a hectic day that simply says, "xo."

Or, here of late, sending an Obama/Biden meme when we know the other can use a chuckle. Or, sharing a quick photo of E's sleeping face that still retains a tiny bit of her baby face so that we can both get a little bit choked up at how fast she's growing up. These little touch points during the day sometimes feel like the only connections we have on those crazy days when we are running in a hundred directions. They also come in handy when one needs to prove to the other one that I most certainly did tell him that we needed a loaf of bread in addition to the milk.

The kids are definitely missing out on FaceTime, which has become a staple during times our family is apart. FaceTime comes in handy when someone just can't wait to report the results of a swim race or link me in to the tedium of a long day of hunting.

Although most of our days have been pretty routine, with little out of the ordinary happening, the kids are quick to lament "all" the things that they didn't get to tell Dad today. They are stockpiling things that they can't wait to tell him, and of course, by the time we do get to talk to him, they will have forgotten half of them.

Just a few days as a single parent has me climbing the walls. It's not so much the divide and conquer attitude that I miss, as it is just having a sounding board to rail against because E wanted to wear pants today, and not the jumper that I had ironed for her, which made me 10 minutes late for work. Again. It's having someone to intervene when G and I are going rounds over practicing his spelling words. Again. It's having someone to strip the pukey sheets from the bed, while I attend to whichever one is puking in the bathroom, so that we get to come back to a clean bed. Not even being able to pick up the phone to ask for advice, or rant, or share something fun is really hard.

The past few days have had their share of adventure, as well. I discovered a leaking pipe under the sink, we had several weather-related power outages, the cable went on the fritz, and then, as soon as the cable service returned, the Internet went out. We had a good stash of flashlights and candles at the ready, books to read, board games to play, and a bucket to stash under the sink.

Everyone has also made a big deal out of camping out in my bedroom, and I have a feeling they will be hard to evict when Dad gets back. I'm not so sure I want to right away. It will be nice to have us all safe and sound under one roof again.

I know there are many out there who face this challenge alone every day, whether it is due to the loss of a partner, a deployment, an absentee parent, or maybe even stepping up to parent when a parent is not present. My hat is off to you. Honestly, I would say I don't know how you do it, but as any parent knows, you do what you have to do.

This Thanksgiving season, I am exceptionally thankful that I am not flying this plane solo for more than a few days at a time, and I am thankful that a snowstorm will be sending him home a few days early. I am also thankful for indoor plumbing, leaking or not, it's better than an outhouse.

Liz Pinkey is a contributing writer to the Times News. Her column appears weekly in our Saturday feature section.