The face in the mirror is the problem

I am very protective of my happy disposition. I'm careful about the books I read and the movies I see. And while I am an avid newspaper reader, there are parts I avoid such as certain political columns that depress me by telling me about things out of my control.

I do read all the how-to- columns as well as all the financial columns because I like to keep learning. But one financial column I normally like had me silently screaming in frustration.

Someone wrote to columnist Malcolm Berko complaining that the government won't help him with his financial problems.

This is the way the guy outlined his problems: He's 26 and makes $39,000 a year while his wife makes $26,000.

They owe $29,000 in credit card debt and $47,000 in student loans. The loans are immediately payable because he and his wife dropped out of college to get married, he explains.

They also owe $27,000, he says, on two cars and a motorcycle.

I think you're getting the picture. But the part that angered me came after he complained they have bad credit and can't get a mortgage so they have to pay $1,650 in rent.

Now, here's his complaint in his own words: "The government does nothing to help."

He went on to say the system is rigged in favor of the rich.

Sure, why in the world doesn't "the government" stop us from making bad decisions?

Why doesn't "the government" come to the aid of someone who buys two cars and a motorcycle and racks up $29,000 in credit card debt?

Surely "the government" should give the guy a home because he can't afford to get one on his own, right?

That's what angered me one more person who wants "the government" to give him more.

One more person who refuses to accept personal responsibility for his problems.

It's hard for me not to get sarcastic by saying "the government" should arrest the guy who put a gun to his head and forced him to buy two cars and a motorcycle, along with whatever else forced them to buy the things that ran up their credit card.

I'm writing about this not only because I think the guy makes stupid decisions then blames everyone else. I'm writing about it because it's all too common.

There are plenty of people like him who rack up needless debt then cry about "the system" being rigged against them.

From the beginning of time the system hasn't rewarded those who keep spending even when they can't afford to pay for what they already have.

On the other hand, that might not be true because real estate prices collapsed in this country when too many people walked away from loans they couldn't pay.

Many were given home loans when they had no down payment, no credit history and no means to repay the big loans they took on. The glut of distressed properties on the market is a testimony to bad loan practices.

And here's yet another guy waiting for the government to continue that practice so he can own a home.

I thought Berko was fairly repressed in his response when he told the writer, "If you must assign blame, look in the mirror."

Berko said the writer could turn his finances around if he learned how to make better decisions.

There are people who do exactly that. I've written about some couples that cut up their credit cards and went on strict financial diets to get out of debt. It was a painfully long, tough road but they did it slowly.

The day I interviewed one such couple they were excited to show me the new, small television they bought with cash. Their big set was repossessed along with their car when they couldn't make payments.

Working with a financial counselor, they learned how long it takes to pay for something when 20 percent interest is tacked on every month.

I haven't talked with that couple for a long time but I am willing to bet they no longer live in their small apartment. I bet they now have a home a their own a home they earned through taking responsibility for their finances.

They were willing to say, "We caused our own problems and we are the ones who can solve those problems."

I know so many success stories about people who do pulled themselves up from "broke to flush" through their own initiative. One guy had to sleep in his car while he was setting up his business. But he did it and he thrived.

Unlike Berko, I don't think the writer will ever be a success story not unless he accepts personal responsibility for his problems and alters his expectations.

This week's paper is carrying the court case of an 82-year-old guy suing the tobacco companies because his wife smoked all her life and died of lung cancer.

It wasn't her fault. It was the fault of the cigarette companies that manufactured those cigarettes. That's his case.

Too many no longer believe in personal responsibility.

Thankfully, plenty of us do. We buy only what we can afford and live within our means.

One simple truth: the face in the mirror is the one responsible for the way we live our lives.