Don't hesitate to issue an invitation

I have an acquaintance with a husband named Grouchy.

No one knows his real name because she never calls him anything except Grouchy and she doesn't mean that as a term of endearment.

While she is outgoing and friendly, she always has to go places alone because Grouchy dislikes people and won't go anywhere, she claims.

When a couple from their church was having a party, the host issued a personal invitation to Grouchy.

"I really want you to come," he said.

"Why?" asked a doubtful Grouchy.

"Because I would like to get to know you better," he said.

Grouchy went to the party, and at one point, my husband and I happened to sit next to him.

What a nice guy. He proved to be an interesting guy, and we all liked him.

We told Grouchy's wife to use his given name because there was nothing grouchy about her husband.

The guy who held the party followed up with an invitation for the former Grouchy to join a men's group.

Grouchy's wife said her husband would never do anything like that.

"It's just not his thing," she said.

Well, her husband joined, and from what I hear, he went on to form fast friendships with those in the small group.

All it takes sometimes is for someone to issue a sincere invitation. Then friendships can form and lives can change.

There are times when I meet someone I really like and think I would like to get to know him or her better. When I take action to do exactly that, the seeds of friendship sprout.

One case in point is my precious friend, Fran. We were strangers to each other and probably would have remained that way if I didn't issue an invitation to her at a weekend conference.

As I watched the frisky, upbeat woman take photographs, I was drawn to her and wanted to know her better.

I went up to this complete stranger and said: "I would really like to know you better. Let's sit together at dinner so we can chat."

Right from the start we had the instant kind of chemistry that makes you believe you have known each other forever.

We have been fast friends ever since. Fran and I are so close, and we constantly marvel at how our friendship enriches each other.

But we never would have had the friendship if I didn't first issue an invitation.

The power of a simple invitation cannot be underestimated. That point was brought home to me at a recent church meeting when my close friend Jeanne was the guest speaker.

Jeanne and I have been friends ever since I moved to Florida eight years ago. In her talk she mentioned how we became friends when we met while kayaking.

But then she said something that resonated deep within me. In her talk she said her life was changed when we became friends. She went on to give concrete examples of things she does now that she never would have done before I reached out to her in friendship.

I was surprised by her words because Jeanne is not the type to be all flowery. She is definitely not the gushy type, and I never would have known her feelings if I were not at that talk.

Ever since then I have been thinking about the power of an invitation. I've been thinking back on my own life, recalling the meaningful things that happened because someone first issued an invitation to me.

While I am outgoing and am definitely what some people consider to be "a joiner," I'm not the type who volunteers without being asked. But when I am, I try not to say no.

When I first joined a church here in Florida, I had to fill out a card listing a very brief bio. The next day the church secretary called me to say they were in need of a fifth-grade teacher in their religious education program. I was worried about being too old to reach fifth-graders. But I agreed to try it.

Here's what I can tell you about all the love and warm fuzzies those kids brought into my life: It was like all the sunshine in Florida was gathered into a box and given to me as a gift.

I'm sure that feeling was mutual because parents told me kids who never wanted to go to class were happy in my class.

You never know all the good things that can happen when you say yes to an invitation.

While I sit at the computer writing this column, my husband is meeting a complete stranger at a restaurant. Knowing David's kayaking background, the guy called him and asked if they could meet so my husband could offer some tips for "a bunch of beginners" in their housing development.

David was happy to help. When he was leaving, I told him he was going to be surprised at all the good things that would come into his life by answering the invitation.

He just looked at me with an expression that said: "My wife is being weird again."

No, I'm just reiterating what experience has taught me: Never be afraid to issue an invitation or to say yes to one because you never know what good things will come your way.