Warmest regards: How old is ‘elderly?’

By Pattie Mihalik

One of the bands getting rave reviews in our area is called “The Elderly Brothers.”

Just the name alone makes me wants to see them.

Who in the world would call themselves “elderly?” That’s an adjective most people don’t long to have applied to them.

I wondered just how old they were.

When our quirky yacht club announced it was scheduling a pontoon convoy trip to hear The Elderly Brothers play, I immediately signed up.

Our so-called yacht club is quite unique in that no one has a yacht. Instead, they have pontoon boats. They don’t do ocean voyages like most yacht clubs. Instead, the do canal trips, opening the trips to anyone who wants to go along.

Six pontoon boats formed a fun-filled convoy to hear The Elderly Brothers.

I made it a point to interview the two “elderly”musicians for my newspaper column.

I was surprised to learn The Elderly Brothers, Fred and Mark, aren’t in the least bit elderly. Fred is 61, too young to collect Social Security, while Mark is 10 years older.

They told me when they formed their duo, the band didn’t have a name. When they were hired to play for a big Halloween party, they had to come up with a name.

As a joke, Fred said they were The Elderly Brothers.

“Everyone laughed,” he told me. “That laughter told me we had the right name.”

The catchy name clicked with fans. People started bringing funny donations, including an old walker that is now front and center for all their appearances.

People seem to like making a joke about getting old. That’s good in a place like Florida where there are more senior citizens than orange trees.

When I was asked to judge a local talent contest, one of the winners was a comedian whose routine centered on getting old.

In my estimation, it’s not easy to make people laugh by talking about age-related problems. A lot of times I see comedy acts about old age fall flat.

But the talent show comedian had us laughing right from the start with his jokes about being older.

Everyone has a different concept about what constitutes old age.

A young reporter at our local paper wrote a story about an “elderly driver” hitting another car.

I was surprised (and outraged) to read the story that said the “elderly driver” was 65.

When people asked me why the paper called 65 elderly, I said it was because the reporter was 12.

Age is definitely connected to perception.

Just for the fun of it, I asked The Elderly Brothers what age they consider “elderly.”

The 71-year-old musician said it was 80.

Just for the fun of it, I also asked that same question of about a dozen older folks.

Here’s my conclusion: “Elderly” is age you have yet to reach.

Some answered 80 was elderly. But the 80-year-old people I interviewed said elderly was hitting 90.

See — elderly is the age you have yet to reach.

I remember when people thought they were old when they turned 50.

Years later these same folks know that 50 is just getting started.

I recently decided to do a feature on some nifty nonagenarians that still light up a dance floor. Forty years past their 50th birthday they can still do a pretty good impersonation of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

While I was taking photos for the feature, a few other good dancers asked why they weren’t being included in my article.

I told them they were “too young.” They were only in their 80s.

There are absolutely dozens of 80-year-olds having fun at every dance my husband and I attend.

I just read a lengthy magazine article that proclaimed 80 is the new 60.

The New York Times also ran an article titled 80 is the new 60 when it comes to retirement.

Some stay in the workforce because they want to. Others stay because they have to.

Our local paper just ran a letter from a woman complaining that she had the highest score on the exam for Census workers but she wasn’t hired.

She’s 89. She claims she’s still traveling around the globe and playing golf several times a week.

While she’s a rarity, we are seeing older people remain in jobs longer than previous generations.

I think we can safely say we have an older population more active than ever before.

When I look around Florida, I can easily see our changing demographics.

What we once used to call “old folks” are out on bikes tooling around like youngsters.

Or, they are out on the dance floor enjoying life.

That’s the bottom line. Today’s grandparents are living far more active lives than their own grandparents did.

When I think about my own grandmother, I can only picture her cooking at her big coal stove or sitting on the porch. That’s because they were her main activities.

Maybe the editors of a research piece on aging have a point when they say we have to change our attitude about aging.

We have to, because many are breaking our perception about age.

So, now I’ll ask you the question I asked others:

At what age can we rightly be called “elderly?”

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.