Warmest regards: Is it time to reduce your stuff?

By Pattie Mihalik

My husband can quickly inhale the information in any article then remember it forever.

An avid reader, he’s interested in just about any topic so when I see an article I think will interest him I put it by his place at the table.

That’s exactly what I did with the article on the need to clear out your junk before your heirs have to do it.

Sensitive subject. He pretended he didn’t see it.

I told him he should read it because it detailed the tailspin his children will be in if he leaves behind the hoards of “valuable stuff” he’s saving from his family.

When a parent or loved one dies, your adult children will be overwhelmed with emotion and things they must do. The last thing they need is to face a house filled with the stuffed saved for centuries.

The article I wanted him to read nicely points out that what parents consider “valuable” most likely will be regarded as junk by their adult children.

According to the article, topping the list of what heirs don’t want to contend with is a house full of dark furniture from years ago.

Today’s couples want light furniture that is more suited to their lifestyle, experts say.

What do you think is the item most adult children won’t want after you are gone?

According to those who clean out estates, china and dishes rank right on top of the “don’t want it” items.

Dishes parents lovingly save for their children aren’t needed or wanted because most adults have plenty of their own dishes. And truth be told, how many sets of dishes does anyone need?

Yet so many people refuse to use their “good dishes” because they want to pass it along to their children.

So often we read practical advice that tells us not to hoard things we consider “too good to use.”

“Don’t stash your best dishes or your best bedding away because you consider it too good for everyday use. Use it now.”

That’s the advice we often read.

Yet, the avid reader in my family ignores it.

For the most part, houses in Florida are smaller than those in the north and few have attics, basements or big storage areas.

That means anything that doesn’t get used is just taking up valuable space and giving nothing in return.

When David and I married, I furnished our house with furniture appropriate to our Florida lifestyle. But our coastal theme ends at the dining room because a dark antique cabinet takes up all the room. David says it’s a valuable antique passed along by his parents. The cabinet is filled with antique dishes and glasses that we don’t use because, “They belonged to my parents and grandparents and I don’t want to break anything.”

Once when we were having a few couples over for dinner, I ran out of wineglasses, so I went into the cabinet and brought out two glasses.

When David saw the glasses, he said, “You’re using our good antique glasses?”

No one would use one when they heard that because they didn’t want to worry about breaking what was obviously important to him.

Truth be told, we actually have closets full of old dishes he cherishes because the china dishes were hand-painted by his mother.

His children tell me they also have closets filled with the hand-painted dishes. They don’t use it but they save it because of sentimental value.

David’s son asked me to please encourage his father not to save more of the old hand-painted dishes to pass along to them.

Sorry. I haven’t been able to do it.

So when I saw a full page feature on getting rid of the old stuff cluttering your house, I again used it to give him a nudge.

This was the headline: Most of your stuff is worthless.

Three things you should be doing now to reduce what you own.

The first piece of advice was to start now and reduce your belongings a little at a time.

If it’s too overwhelming to do at one time, just think how overwhelmed your heirs will be when they have to do it.

Ask your children what they want you to save, but don’t be surprised when they say “not much.”

Save a few of your most sentimental pieces and find a new home for the rest, advised the writer.

Guess what was in the photo that ran with the article?

Old china. Pretty china, actually. The teapots were especially attractive to me.

But if I had them would I use them? Probably not. They’re too old and too pretty. I might break it. Sound familiar?

In the interest of honesty I have to admit I zealously guard the delicate bone china tea set my daughter brought back from Germany for me.

I use the little tray every day but not the dainty tea set. I break too many tea pots and I don’t want to break something my daughter lovingly gave me.

See — I’m doing what many others do. I’m letting sentiment win over practicality. But I do keep the tea set in a place of honor in my kitchen.

I understand it may be hard to whittle down your possessions.

But it would be even harder for your children when you are gone.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.