Warmest regards: Self-assessment is seldom wasted

By Pattie Mihalik

As the new year approached, a small gathering of friends fielded answers to the perennial question: Did you make any New Year’s resolutions?

Some said they stopped making New Year’s resolutions long ago because they found they never keep them.

“I made the same resolution two years in a row to stop wasting my gym memberships and start going to work out on a regular basis,” said one woman.

“I usually do it in January but I never manage to keep it up,” she told us.

Typical behavior, right?

Our responses were fairly typical, too.

Several women said their New Year’s resolution was to lose weight. Two of the men said they were going stop smoking.

“Last year I managed to drastically cut down how much I smoke. This year I’m going to try totally stop,” said one guy.

But the 22-year-old guy among us had a different take on New Year’s resolutions.

He said he finds New Year’s resolutions and those who persist in making them “repugnant.”

“Think about it. If someone really wants to improve or change a behavior, why would they have to wait for the start of a new year to do it?” he questioned.

I countered by saying New Year’s resolutions are like traffic lights that slow us down to refuel as we travel through life.

Trying to be a bit better is certainly worthwhile, even if we fail to keep a resolution.

According to US News, 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions don’t last beyond the second week of February.

With just 8 percent of resolution makers actually following through, it’s clear that the odds are not in your favor, the article asserted.

But experts claim there is value in making New Year’s resolutions. I most enjoyed reading Dr. Glen Miller’s thoughts on the subject.

“Here’s the bottom line,” he wrote. “Folks who make resolutions to change are 10 times more likely to achieve those changes than people who want to change but never actually resolve to do so.”

He says that’s true whether you make the resolutions on New Year’s Eve or any other time of year.

The psychiatrist explained making resolutions signifies our desire to take a step toward positive change.

“Even if we are unsuccessful in making all the changes we hope to, actually making a resolution will at least focus us and take us a few steps toward our goal. As far as I’m concerned, that is a heck of lot better than doing nothing,” he affirmed.

I certainly agree with him.

On the other hand, this is the first year in a long time that I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions.

The reason is simple: I’ve been doing personal assessments all year and am working hard at positive change.

I firmly believe if I am granted the gift of another year of life, I want to spend that year in the most productive way possible.

What I’m taking about is personal growth. I have no idea how I could grow so old and still need so much self-improvement. Yet, until they shovel dirt on my grave, I will be working to improve myself.

I’m not talking about cosmetic changes, although I’ve finally managed to lose weight by learning how to eat.

Don’t ask why it’s taken me a lifetime to do it. I’m just happy that I’ve successfully joined those who focus on better health through better personal habits.

But to me, internal changes are even more important than outward changes.

One goal I’ve been focusing on all year is being more mindful of how I spend each moment of each day.

Again, that’s because I am acutely aware that life is a gift. I want to make the most of that gift in any way possible.

There have been very few days that I squandered that gift. On rare occasion, I waste a precious day being angry about something or the actions of someone.

But I quickly pull myself through it by remembering I cannot change anyone. I can only change myself.

While I can’t control the action of others, I can control my reaction to it.

Shame on me when I get to the end of a day and realize I wasted it by letting myself be consumed by negative feelings.

But I do believe my personal path to self-improvement is better because I am aware of how negative feelings waste a precious day of life.

Fortunately, I consider myself blessed that many of those around me are also focused on being the best kind of person they can be.

We try to ask ourselves what have we done to help others, knowing service to others is one way of making life count.

In the interest of honesty, I have to admit neither I nor those around me are satisfied with what we do for others. There is always so much more we can do.

No matter how old I get, I know I am still a work in progress.

I also know that there is no way I can stop a day from slipping away or slow the passage of time.

All I can do is open my arms, embrace life with a grateful heart, and live each day as mindfully as possible.

Self-assessment, no matter when it’s done, helps with that goal.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.