Where We Live: Love and friendship

By Marta Gouger

This Valentine’s Day I was reminded about just how many friends have gone out of their way over the years to show their love for me.

I am grateful for those who followed the selfless love principles outlined in 1 Corinthians 13.

The love chapter for weddings is something we can all abide by.

“Love is patient, love is kind. … It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Thank goodness my friends don’t keep a record of my wrongs. I have been shown love and kindness by too many to name.

When my first husband, Keith, died in June 1996, I thought nothing would ever be right in the world again. Two of my longtime friends came to my rescue. I had left my first stint at the Times News 10 years earlier, but Marigrace Heyer and Pattie Mihalik took time out of their busy lives to comfort me and spend time with me.

I remember those long phone conversations at night where Marigrace listened even though she had to get up exceptionally early in the morning.

I realize now how precious that was since I am on that work schedule myself.

Pattie, ever positive, said something that has stuck with me. “As sure as the sun will come up in the morning, you will come out of this.”

She was saying there are seasons and changes in life and I would come out of it.

At grief support meetings, they say you will develop of new sense of normal.

I met my friend Pat at one of those meetings. We spent hours on the phone sharing stories of our husbands and our unrealized dreams.

She came for dinner that first Christmas, and it was a healing time for both of us. Pat has since remarried and moved to Arizona. We keep in touch on Facebook.

Valentine’s Day 1997 was set up to be uncomfortable. Step in Sandy Schwartz, who worked in the human resources department and helped me sort through work and nonwork issues.

On this Valentine’s Day, she got me (and other single people) flowers. She would also take me to dinner on Friday nights when the rest of the world had dates.

Sandy and her husband, John, catered our wedding when Ronnie and I married, and she remained my friend, even when I got too busy to make time for her.

In November, Ronnie threw a surprise birthday party for me.

After years of not connecting, Sandy answered the call to make my favorite cake, chocolate with peanut butter icing.

My dear friends Carol and Rose have also been there throughout the years to encourage and yes, correct me.

And new friends jumped in recently to help when I was stuck at home with the flu. One picked up food for me and another offered to clean.

I should have taken her up on that offer …