Will purple solve this pet peeve?

Purple has always been my favorite color, and now, in Pennsylvania, it means something else: “Private Property! No Trespassing!” I will be stocking up on the purple paint, and plan to go on a spree. Trespassing is one of my biggest pet peeves, and it has only gotten worse in recent years.

Our farm is not only located in the middle of the woods, relatively far away from people, but it’s also near a scenic area, which includes a railroad, and state game lands. So, naturally people assume that since we have a cleared, maintained driveway, they can use it to go wherever they want. Even though the entrance is clearly marked with “Private Property” and “No Trespassing” signs. My brother, who is a neighboring property owner, and the Wonderful Husband have also wallpapered the trees along the driveway and the property line with signs that state the same.

I really hope the purple helps, because quite honestly, I’m tired of having to chase people off my property. I’m not sure if I’m just becoming crankier in my old age, or if people are becoming more obnoxious, but I can’t believe some of the encounters I’ve had with trespassers over the past few years.

Last spring, the WH and I were returning home when we encountered a pack of approximately five young adults. While they acted much like my bratty teens, I’m pretty sure they were at least 20 or thereabouts. While we didn’t see any actual evidence of what nefarious activity they may have been up to, they certainly seemed like they might have been indulging in some illicit substances. We pulled up in our car and rolled down the window. During all these encounters, we try to start off being polite. We informed them they were trespassing and asked them to leave immediately.

One of them apologized and started to make the excuse that they didn’t know it was private property. This always sets us off a little, since every time we come across someone like this, they are always standing just a few feet from a sign that says exactly what they said they had no idea about. However, one of the other members of the bunch started to give us attitude.

This blows my mind. When you’re in a situation where you are clearly in the wrong, and you’re being asked to leave, why in the world would you start to instigate a fight? But, unfortunately, this has become the most common reaction when we ask someone to leave our property. Sensing that things were going to get ugly, I turned on the video camera on my phone and started capturing the incident. The young woman continued to verbally abuse us and threaten us, and once she noticed that I was videoing her, she started screaming how I had no right to take a picture of her and invade her privacy. I guess she missed school the day they taught irony.

Just a few weeks ago, on one of the balmy January days, we were once again in our driveway. We observed two people walking up the railroad tracks (also private property). When they saw us, they made their way from the railroad tracks, right past about half a dozen bright yellow signs, and dared to ask us how to navigate through the property to get to the railroad bridge.

The WH politely informed them that we would not be providing that information to them, and that not only were they trespassing on our property, but they were also trespassing on the railroad property. Again, one member of the group realized the mistake and immediately turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. The other member of the group decided to tell us that we were being extremely rude by not telling her how to get where she wanted to go. Yes, us asking complete strangers to vacate our property is “rude.” Us pointing out that there was no way that she could go where she wanted to go without committing the crime of trespassing was also “nasty.” It’s very hard to stay calm when someone is being this ignorant. Being informed that she had two choices: either leave immediately or continue her tirade and be escorted out when we called the police, only made her more aggravated and more determined to tell us how we were in the wrong. Finally, realizing that her partner was almost out of range, and she was outnumbered, should we decide to take more drastic measures, she turned to leave, although she continued to shout at us the entire time.

One of my favorite trespassing stories happened last summer. The WH came home from work one day, and a tree was down in the yard. Seizing the moment, he stripped out of his work clothes and grabbed the woodcutting implements from the shed. It was hot, so he was in his boxer shorts and work boots. He went about chopping up the logs when he heard a truck coming up the driveway. Assuming it was me, he just kept working. When it turned out to be another pair of sightseers, looking for directions, the WH proceeded to explain to them that they were trespassing. This brainiac tried to claim that he could travel on our driveway because it was a paper road. When the WH asked him to show him where he found that information, the culprit stared at him blankly. Not to worry, though, his counterpart chirped right in, once again telling the WH how the world worked according to her, and why he was wrong in asking them to leave our property.

Truly, I’m surprised that they haven’t made an episode of “Law and Order” where some mouthy tourist goes missing after trespassing and the primary suspect is a tall man wearing boxer shorts and carrying an ax. Although we will be dedicating a lot of time to painting the trees purple over the next few weeks, I am doubtful whether this will have any effect on people who just don’t seem to care if they’re trespassing on your property. Our area is blessed with an abundance of public parks and trails, game lands, and other recreational areas. I think there is plenty of room for everyone to enjoy the great outdoors and respect private property at the same time.

Liz Pinkey is a contributing writer to the Times News. Her column appears weekly in our Saturday feature section.