Why not just admit mistakes?

Too many professionals and government officials believe that admitting that they made a mistake is a sign of weakness and will lower their standing in the eyes of their employees and the public.

I see it as just the opposite: Owning up to an error is a sign of self-confidence, ethical behavior and an acknowledgment that everyone makes a mistake now and then, but it is how we deal with and learn from them that really shows what we are made of.

At the top of the “no apology under any circumstances” philosophy is the president of the United States, Donald Trump, who has made any number of false or misleading statements without correcting them or apologizing for them since taking office on Jan. 20, 2017.

Trump is unwilling and unable to admit mistakes regardless of how inconsequential they may be. He sees admissions of errors as a tactical sign of weakness that gives the edge to an adversary; I see admitting mistakes as a sign of strength.

A perfect example of the lengths the president will go to try to cover up or justify a mistake occurred as Hurricane Dorian was gaining strength during its destructive march through the Bahamas and up the East Coast through parts of Florida and the Carolinas this month.

Trump misspoke at the time he claimed that part of Alabama would be “greatly affected” by Dorian. The National Weather Service in Alabama took the extraordinary step to correct the president by issuing an alert that Alabama was not to be affected. This was done to “calm fears in support of public safety.”

Instead of saying, “Whoops! Sorry about that. What I said was a mistake, and I apologize to residents of Alabama who were inconvenienced by my words,” Trump devised various ways to try to “prove” that he had not misspoken.

This is such a ridiculously minor episode, but the fact that Trump did what he did made it take on a life of its own. We’re still talking about it days later.

He upped the ante when he displayed an official National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration weather map of the impact area of the storm on which he had taken a Sharpie and drawn an arc extending over part of southeastern Alabama as if to say, “See, I was right all along.”

Thousands took to social media to ridicule Trump for his weak attempt to save face, despite incontrovertible proof to the contrary coming from a government agency.

Columnist Eugene Robinson said it best: “As smooth goes, it was lamer than trying to forge a $100 bill by taking a Monopoly $1 bill and writing a couple of extra zeros on it.”

A NOAA memo to agency employees not to contradict the president and an alleged admonition from Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross that “heads will roll” if they do raised the specter of politicizing a respected government agency.

For his part, Ross vehemently denies the allegation, which appeared in The New York Times. NOAA’s acting Administrator Dr. Neil Jacobs insisted during a speech this week at the National Weather Association’s meeting in Huntsville, Alabama, that no jobs are in jeopardy. “Not yours, not mine, Jacobs told the meteorologists and their supervisors.

The latest in this sorry saga is that Mick Mulvaney, the acting White House chief of staff, is the one who urged Ross to issue the “don’t contradict” edict.

Trump has had a history of not admitting errors, dating back to long before he was elected president in 2016.

When once asked about this tendency, he said, “I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong.”

Admissions of wrongdoing are incredibly threatening for non-apologists because they have trouble separating their actions from their character, according to Dr. Guy Winch, noted clinical psychologist from New York City.

“If they did something bad, they must be bad people; if they were neglectful, they must be fundamentally selfish and uncaring; if they were wrong, they must be ignorant or stupid. Therefore, apologies represent a major threat to their self-esteem,” he said.

There is a certain amount of paranoia among non-apologists who believe that if they apologize they will open the floodgates to further accusations and conflict. “Once they admit to one wrongdoing, surely the other person will pounce on the opportunity to pile on all the previous offenses for which they refused to apologize,” non-apologists believe, according to Winch.

Even though “I’m sorry” is one of the basic things most children learn, some adults cannot bring themselves to say these words.

No one enjoys being wrong. It’s unpleasant, but it happens, and when it does, the easiest way out is to admit the error, apologize and learn from the experience.

By Bruce Frassinelli | tneditor@tnonline.com